For a start I am not even at home. This is the first Christmas I have spent at work, away from my family. It has been strange, being here on my own, not really having much of a Christmas celebration. Strange knowing my family is spending the holiday together without me, doing all the usual things that we always do back home. Strange seeing and hearing about it all from a distance, only through pictures and phone lines. I have missed out on the little stories, the laughter and the late nights. They even have a puppy in the house that I have yet to meet! Apparently it is a little bundle of energy that is crashing through the house, frightening the cat into my parents bed - where it is not allowed, mind - and doing all sorts of mischief. My sister now has to get up in the mornings, which I find rather amusing as that is really not her cup of tea.
Most of all, though, I miss my grandma. She was a presence in my life that is now gone, a source of happiness and family stories from days long past and a place to go to. She was always there - and now she is not. I am still finding it hard to fathom that she no longer sits in her rocking chair with a crossword or three by her side, pondering a difficult word or browsing one of her dictionaries, or that I will never hear her voice again or record one more story. So much is lost with her. Her memories span across nearly a century, and the way of life she knew as a child is now nothing but whispers on the wind.
I have all this spare time now, too - time I used to spend with her. Time I have yet to figure out what to do with. Time is a funny thing.
"Each moment is a word of glass;Each life, within a bubble sealed."
poem by Nicholas Gordon
Source: Jan Tajcnar
I hope you all have a Merry Christmas - wherever you may find yourself.
Cherish each moment.